A MAN WALKED INTO A BAR, ORDERED A VODKA AND COKE, AND QUICKLY FINISHED IT.
He ordered another, then another.
After several drinks, the bartender noticed him slowing down and finally asked, “Is everything all right, sir?”
The man sighed heavily.
“I had a terrible argument with my wife.”
The bartender looked sympathetic.
“I’m sorry to hear that. What happened?”
The man shook his head.
“She told me she won’t speak to me for SIX WEEKS.”
The bartender frowned.
“That must be difficult.”
The man took another sip.
Then, unexpectedly, he smiled.
“Actually… it’s the best thing that’s happened to me in years.”
The bartender blinked.
“Best thing?”
The man nodded.
“Absolutely.”
He put his glass down and leaned closer.
“You see, six weeks ago, my wife told me she was going to stop speaking to me.”
The bartender looked confused.
“But you just said you had an argument.”
“We did.”
“And now she won’t speak to you for six weeks?”
“Exactly.”
The bartender waited for an explanation.
The man smiled even wider.
“Today is the first day.”
The bartender stared at him.
“And you’re happy because…?”
The man raised his glass.
“Because I finally get to watch whatever I want on television.”
The bartender laughed.
The man continued.
“No more reality shows. No more cooking competitions. No more romantic dramas. No more listening to stories about people I’ve never met.”
He took another sip.
“For six whole weeks, I can watch sports, action movies, documentaries…”
He paused dramatically.
“And nobody can complain.”
The bartender shook his head.
“You really don’t miss talking to your wife?”
The man thought for a moment.
Then he smiled.
“Of course I do.”
The bartender nodded.
“That’s better.”
The man added:
“But she started the six-week silence three days before the football season begins.”
The bartender nearly dropped his glass.
“So you’re telling me…”
The man raised his drink.
“I’m saying the timing couldn’t be better.”
The bartender laughed so hard he had to turn away.
The man finished his drink, stood up, and headed toward the door.
Before leaving, he turned around and said:
“By the way, bartender…”
“Yes?”
“Can you put the next game on the big screen?”
The bartender smiled.
“Sure.”
The man grinned.
“Then make it a double.”
Sometimes, the best way to survive a marital argument is to find the funny side of it.