A MAN WALKED INTO A BAR, ORDERED A VODKA AND COKE, AND QUICKLY FINISHED IT.<\/p>\n
He ordered another, then another.<\/p>\n
After several drinks, the bartender noticed him slowing down and finally asked, \u201cIs everything all right, sir?\u201d<\/p>\n
The man sighed heavily.<\/p>\n
\u201cI had a terrible argument with my wife.\u201d<\/p>\n
The bartender looked sympathetic.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry to hear that. What happened?\u201d<\/p>\n
The man shook his head.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe told me she won\u2019t speak to me for SIX WEEKS.\u201d<\/p>\n
The bartender frowned.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat must be difficult.\u201d<\/p>\n
The man took another sip.<\/p>\n
Then, unexpectedly, he smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cActually\u2026 it\u2019s the best thing that\u2019s happened to me in years.\u201d<\/p>\n
The bartender blinked.<\/p>\n
\u201cBest thing?\u201d<\/p>\n
The man nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cAbsolutely.\u201d<\/p>\n
He put his glass down and leaned closer.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou see, six weeks ago, my wife told me she was going to stop speaking to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
The bartender looked confused.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut you just said you had an argument.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe did.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd now she won’t speak to you for six weeks?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cExactly.\u201d<\/p>\n
The bartender waited for an explanation.<\/p>\n
The man smiled even wider.<\/p>\n
\u201cToday is the first day.\u201d<\/p>\n
The bartender stared at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you’re happy because\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n
The man raised his glass.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause I finally get to watch whatever I want on television.\u201d<\/p>\n
The bartender laughed.<\/p>\n
The man continued.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo more reality shows. No more cooking competitions. No more romantic dramas. No more listening to stories about people I’ve never met.\u201d<\/p>\n
He took another sip.<\/p>\n
\u201cFor six whole weeks, I can watch sports, action movies, documentaries\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
He paused dramatically.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd nobody can complain.\u201d<\/p>\n
The bartender shook his head.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou really don’t miss talking to your wife?\u201d<\/p>\n
The man thought for a moment.<\/p>\n
Then he smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course I do.\u201d<\/p>\n
The bartender nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s better.\u201d<\/p>\n
The man added:<\/p>\n
\u201cBut she started the six-week silence three days before the football season begins.\u201d<\/p>\n
The bartender nearly dropped his glass.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo you’re telling me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
The man raised his drink.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m saying the timing couldn’t be better.\u201d<\/p>\n
The bartender laughed so hard he had to turn away.<\/p>\n
The man finished his drink, stood up, and headed toward the door.<\/p>\n
Before leaving, he turned around and said:<\/p>\n
\u201cBy the way, bartender\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCan you put the next game on the big screen?\u201d<\/p>\n
The bartender smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cSure.\u201d<\/p>\n
The man grinned.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen make it a double.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sometimes, the best way to survive a marital argument is to find the funny side of it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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